Love is a cruel...

...and deceitful thing. I am disappointed in love. It has let me down again. But I am a helpless romantic and I believe something good will happen later or sooner in my life. For now though I am searching for something to numb the pain. In the meantime I will live you with a passage from a really good book I am reading, its called Changes from Ama Ata Aidoo.

Esi's main problem was that she was easily bored. And no woman ever caught a man or held him by showing lack of interest. Esi had known that she would have to work up some enthusiasm in her relationship with men. 'But how?' she had kept asking herself. Now looking back she didn't dare admit, even to herself, that perhaps what she had felt for Oko in the first years of their married life was gratitude more than anything else. Gratitude that in spite of herself he had persisted in courting her and marrying her.

'Not many women are this lucky...' Esi could hear her grandmother's voice. 'And who told you that feeling grateful to a man is not enough reason to marry him? My lady, the world would die of surprise if every woman openly confessed the true reasons why she married a certain man. These days, young people don't seem to know why they marry or should marry.'

'What are some of the reasons, Nana?'

'Ah, so you want to know? Esi we know that we all marry to have children...'

'But Nana, that is such an old and worn-out idea! Children can be born to people who are not married.'

'Sure, sure, but to help them grow up well, children need homes with walls, a roof, fire, pots.'

'Oh Nana. But one person can provide all these things these days for a growing child!'

'Maybe...yes... Yes, my lady. We also marry to increase the number of people with whom we can share the joys and the pains of this life.'

'Nana, how about love?'

'Love?...Love?... Love is not safe, my lady Silk, love is dangerous. It is deceitfully sweet like the wine from a fresh palm tree at dawn. Love is fine for singing about and love songs are good to listen to, sometimes even to dance to. But when we need to count on human strength, and when we have to count pennies for food for our stomachs and clothes for our backs, love is nothing. Ah my lady, the last man any woman should think of marrying is the man she loves.'