Long Time No Write

Its been a while... The pain is not as intense as the beginning, mostly due to the revelation. But it is still there, like a scream muffled by a pillow...Sometimes I feel it, circling in the border of my reality, wanting to come back and haunt me. Gladly, it cannot approach me anymore... I am no longer within reach...Time heals all things, eventually...But for me, it is the truth that always sets me free... Even when it can kill me. I sometimes hate myself for sounding so pathetic (mind you that only happens when I write... I usually say nothing of how I feel to other people). Here does not count either, since hardly any of the people I know bother using this type of blog anymore. They are still a few, who crusade thru here once in a while. I am slowly discovering that I do not have friends...Friends in the way that call you to hang out. Yes I have friends to hang out with... But they don't really call me to do that. It is I who is calling them. There I go again, sounding miserable. When truthfully I am not. I am just lonely. This will take some time to get use too. For now, somebody hit me. Hard. I want to wake up, but I don't seem to know how.